Coffee With Cote'

Thursday, August 24, 2017


I think someone upstairs had a plan for this family and it would be the B Plan as in boys – ALL BOYS!  With this I’d like to point out that I am the youngest of three brothers, including every grandchild in our immediate family follows the B Plan (eight grandsons)!

Now there are some real advantages to representing the male sex that my mother and wife are all too familiar with: sporting events (and more sporting events and more sporting events), ESPN, mega summer action flicks (and who doesn’t pretend to think that Dwayne Johnson isn’t the best actor on the planet?), to having a low-cost clothing budget (except when it comes to basketball shoes – can they really cost nearly $200 a pair today)?

So with all of this natural male knowledge that’s surrounded me my entire life, it would seem obvious that the parenting thing would be easy when raising my two sons –  well maybe not so much…  For starters, I can’t imagine what the current generation has to go through with the pressure social media has created, both good and bad.  Back in the day, cable TV came on at eight, turned off at midnight and summer hits were as simple as Rocky, Rambo or Arnooold!

Well in this we need it now, hyper-paced, immediate society that we live in, early on my wife and I adopted a simple approach in attempt to provide our sons with some basic guiding principles to help keep them on course, especially when things can get a little bit bumpy.

The B’s of Raising Boys (three plus one)!

1.      Be Good: Boys are active, boys are competitive, boys can find their way into things that they sometimes would be better off not finding in the first place.  In the end, its key that boys have a strong internal compass guiding them so that when life’s journey starts to pull them off course, they have the ability to know the difference between right and wrong, and do what’s right.

2.      Be active: As I have blogged many time before, nothing gets done without the first step.  If you are feeling down, go for a walk.  If you are looking to accomplish a new goal, write it down and every day do something that moves you closer to accomplishing it.  Boys like movement and as long as they are always moving – good things are certain to happen (especially when applying the first B – being good)!

3.      B’s or Better:  Another challenge for the current generation is all of the hype over the need to be best in class and the drive to maintain A++ grades.  The way I see it, the person whom graduated last in their class is still called a doctor and personally, over half of the success equation is just showing up in the first place.  For our boys, we don’t expect them to come up with the next mathematical formula to reprogram the world clock, but getting a B or better in school seems to just make sense.

+ 1 think BIG!  The last B we introduced to our boys when they started getting older.  Today more than ever, the world is full of so many great opportunities.  Unfortunately for most, with what shows up on TV or how social media can come across, this message can easily get lost.  Let’s face it, the world is flat with so many possibilities (personally, professionally, spiritually, financially) that will lead you to feeling good and adding meaningful value to those around you, and in the end, the only thing holding you back is you – so why not always think BIG!